a silver-gray laptop computer with a black screen that fills with small white text.

THE SITE YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER CONTAINS: MILDLY FLASHY/FLICKERING GIFS, FOUL LANGUAGE, POTENTIAL EYESTRAIN [bright text and colors against a dark background], AND CARTOON BLOOD.
IT IS BEST VIEWED ON A COMPUTER, AND IS ILL-ADJUSTED FOR MOBILE.

PROCEED WITH CAUTION AND CARE FOR ONESELF.

I UNDERSTAND. TAKE ME FORWARD!